What do I do Now

After working one more year at the salon I went and worked at camp for the summer and decided that I would use the summer to listen to Gods call in my life and make sure I went where He wanted me to go.  I had many ideas of places I was going to work and live.  God had a different plan He brought someone into my life who was honest with me about what He saw.  He saw a desire to go back to Bible College.  I did have a desire to go back but I thought I had passed that point of actually returning.  I decided to look at Millar College of the Bibles web page I had done first year there and if I was going to go back that is where I would go.  I came across a returning student application and it was not very long.  I thought I will just fill in the questions and see how it is.  Then once that was done well why not send it in I know they have a waiting list there is no way I will get in.  I prayed about it and I heard back that there was no room but I was on a waiting list... two weeks later I received an e-mail that the spot was mine if I wanted it.  WHAT ok I will take it... then i applied for loans and you know what God worked it out.  I have to wait for God to provide but when I need to pay something or an extra expense comes up God provides.  I am so thankful I followed his call I know that this is where I am suppose to be.  It is not easy all the time but it is not suppose to be.

Part of healing was returning my focus back on Christ.  When I felt like I was watching my life through a t.v screen the only thing that still made sense was God.  I knew He loved me and was always by me through it all.  I used scripture to bring myself back out of that dark place.  A little over a year ago God allowed me to have a car accident my little sister was in the car.  I got whip lash and thank God she was ok a little shock up.  I can honestly say I believe God allowed it to happen and He might have even orchestrated it.  My little sister and I have always had this tension between us.  I think that the age gap played a big part in it and somewhere along the way it became a constant fight.  It was so bad that my Mom started to send Dee to visit people when I came home because we couldn't stand to be around each other.  I was so sick of it that I prayed that God would intervene because I was done and I knew that this couldn't continue.  I believe the accident was an act of God because I could have been killed and Dee as well.  God gave me clarity at the last second to wrench the wheel and the outcome was very different.  The first thing Dee said as we were walking away from the car to get help was something along the lines of maybe this is Gods way of making us talk?  She was right and it shocked me that she said those words because I was thinking them as well.  We have had small arguments since but now we are closer then I had ever hoped we could be.  After that point I knew that I was wasting my life living it for myself.  I was chasing after material things; I wanted a house and nice things.  I quickly got snapped out of this fantasy land.  I was off work for three weeks and then it took awhile after that to get back to full time.  When I returned to work I put in my notice at work and my apartment.  I was going to serve God I didn't know how all I knew was He was calling me.

How does one start to tell the story of their life?  To share with others the struggles and trails that they have been through?  I have choose to not go into detail because I don’t feel that I need to share these particular details in order to express just how God has worked in my life.  Have you ever had a dream and a vision for your life?  I did and you know it was coming true everything was falling into place so easily.  Of course there were a few little bumps along the way but nothing a good cry and prayer couldn’t get me through.  Something still comes to mind every once in a while almost like a constant reminder that God worked through it all. When I feel like I have it all under control and I can do it on my own God reminds me how foolish I am to think that.   I was working full-time doing a job that I loved.  I had pretty much achieved everything that a young child dreams about except buying a home and getting married.  I did however live on my own and was completely independent for several years.  I had my dream job and I worked at the most amazing place.  Without any warning I started to loose myself I started to become someone that was not who I ever wanted to be.  I lost interest in the things that I once loved.  I wanted to have nothing to do with anyone.  Not even some of my best friends; I shut them out and pushed them away.  With help from others and God I was able to overcome this.  Unfortunately I am not sure if I will ever lose the scares that it left.    

I attended public school and I was an average student I got the occasional A.  I had many friends but as I got older my close friends started to move away and I had very few really good friends.  I did a lot of babysitting and I enjoyed it very much.  Many of those kids are still close to my heart even though they are a lot older now!  When I was 10 my grandma passed away and I took this really hard.  I did not fully understand to what extent her death would effect me and to this day I still wish she was here.  I became very angry and until later with the help of counselling did I come to accept that I was still grieving my grandma.  When I was 12 my mom was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.  I saw how my parents responded to the news and how their faith never wavered.  I am still waiting on the Lord for her healing.  This news did change our lives drastically but thankfully it was slow progressing.  Over the years my family has adapted and changed to try and make things easier for Mom but it's not always easy especially for her.  Now I don't want to go into detail but to fast forward through my teen years.  I worked at Bible Camp during the summer and God continued to call me back to ministry summer after summer.  I graduated from high school, went to Bible College and what a challenging, amazing, and terrible year all in one.  I would never wish to take that year back; I believe everything happens for a reason and this is no exception.  I thought I was a good solid Christian but Bible College showed me who I really was.  I discovered that I didn't know myself at all I was doing what people expected me to do.  I lost my uncle that year and to this day I am not sure if he was saved.  I wrote him many letters and I hold onto the hope that he accepted Christ.  After that year I worked at Bible Camp and it was not an easy summer I felt lost after leaving school.

How it all started!

Isaiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

I grew up in a Christian home with a loving family!  We lived in the country on a hobbie farm we had many goats, some pigs, chickens, turkeys, honey bees over the years.  My mom was and still is an amazing women she would plant several gardens and she was always knitting something.  My Dad at the time was a truck driver and about ten years ago he came off the road and now works at a local plant.  I have only one brother he kinda looked out for me growing up and we have always been fairly close I suppose.  I have three sisters, my oldest sister I have always looked up to because I felt I was most like her out of my whole family.  She has always been an incredibly hard worker.  My second oldest sister was always more like a friend then a sister and as we got older that relationship seemed to shape even more into a friendship rather then just two sisters.  My youngest sister and I had to be shaken by God before we were able to actually say that we liked each other.  This is just the beginning but I want to share with those who care to hear just how amazing God is and how He has and is working in my life and through me!